


hero vs. villain

by oswiniarty, quantumducky



Category: Hidden Block (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: "coffee shop" of course means it was mentioned once after they met and then never again, Alternate Identities, Angst, M/M, Timeskips, caddy works in a coffee shop, caddy's costume is basically a laura croft cosplay, coffee shop superhero au, ian has his name embroidered on his costume, its single handedly the best chapter ive ever written though, lots of timeskips, needless d&d filler chapters, seriously chapter 17 is just filler, the superhero au no one wanted, the worst superheros (tm), unknown identities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 17:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 18,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8110951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswiniarty/pseuds/oswiniarty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantumducky/pseuds/quantumducky
Summary: sometimes i see youand i’m reminded how muchi fucking hate you.-oswiniarty, 2016(the superhero au no one knew they needed)





	1. what's a little sexual tension between enemies?

**Author's Note:**

> im only putting quantumducky as a co-author bc she's writing a couple fight scenes later in the story and bc shes like. the best person to go to with ideas when you have the worst/stupidest ideas ever.  
> like this story is so stupid and i love it.

“Bang, bang,” the super says, pointing his gun towards the sky, firing off two shots. “You hit the ground.”

A bird falls from the sky, landing on the ground next to him.

Ian fucking hates that guy.

He says as much to his friend, Luke, walking next to him. “I fucking hate that guy.”

Luke fixes him with A Look. “Aw, Ian, what? That guy’s awesome!”

“No, he’s not,” Ian tells him, frowning, “He destroys the city on a weekly basis, Luke, the guy has no idea how many lives he’s ruining or how much property damage he’s causing. It’s like he has no sense of what consequences are.”

The super gets thrown into a wall.

* * *

 

Listen, Ian has never actually interacted with the super. He doesn’t even know the guy’s name, just that he ruins the city more times in a week than half of the superhero/supervillain pairs in the city. It’s  _ embarrassing _ . Ian doesn’t know how he can call himself a superhero most of the time.

So when he and Luke part ways an hour later, Ian is already changing into his lab coat and formulating a plan to lure the super out. 

It can’t be today, obviously. The guy’s already eaten shit. Ian isn't so evil that he'd kick a guy when he’s down.

He decides that he’s going to lure the super out the next day with a really bullshit plan only meant to rile him up.

Supers have an inherent need to do good, right? So he’s just got to cater to that need to do good and right the wrongs in the world.

* * *

 

Ian puts his plan into motion the next day, trying to find a place in the city that isn’t too populated - he may come out of this as a villain, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to let the super destroy half the city like he usually does.

And he starts causing chaos. Empty buildings fall apart as Ian summons things from the void to land on them, and soon enough he hears the voice of a British asshole ring out on the street below. He smirks behind the screen of his TV, looking down at the super.

He shifts through the void to the ground, holding a hand out to the super. He doesn’t speak, at least not at first.

The super looks at the hand warily, but eventually, he takes it, shaking it firmly. “Caddicarus.”

Ian nods, before phasing out and back to where he was in the sky. “Well, are we going to fight, or what?”

The super looks at Ian like he’s about to go  _ off _ . Ian smirks again, and watches as the super jumps from the ground to meet him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Caddicarus asks, glaring at him behind his mask.

“I’m doing my  _ job _ ,” Ian tells him, before phasing out and back in behind him. “What do you  _ think _ I’m doing?”

“It looks like you're destroying the city,” Caddicarus says with a snarl, twirling to face him.

Ian laughs, and it’s tinny, a little jarring because of the speakers in his TV. “Isn't that what  _ you _ do?”

Caddy growls, and pulls back his arm to punch Ian, but he phases out of the way before it can land. 

They both get pulled into the void. Ian would grimace, but this way at least the super can't destroy anything.

“What the fuck is this?” Caddicarus asks, and Ian shrugs. “Where are we?”

“This is the void,” Ian answers, but doesn’t reveal anything else before grabbing the super by his forearm and phasing them back into their reality. He’s seen enough of it, and it seems to have calmed him down significantly.

Ian phases them back to the ground before letting go of the super like he’s burned him.


	2. sleepless in seattle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if it says [sms: ❤︎Ian❤︎] then it's a message on caddy's phone, while [sms: James ❤︎?] is a message on ian's phone. i hope that isn't too confusing???? this is literally the only time you see this in the story though so

Ian is grabbing his morning coffee from his local cafe when he turns and almost immediately smacks into a barista. Hot coffee spills all down his front, and the front of the guy he ran into, and his arm is burning, and honestly? Fuck hot coffee, metaphorically.

“Oh shit, sorry man!” The man exclaims, and Ian waves him off.

Ian looks up from his now-ruined plaid shirt, reading the barista’s nametag on the way up. “It’s fine, I can just order another one, James, is it?”

James looks at him confused for a second, and Ian points to the other’s tag. He seems to get it, smiling. “Oh, yeah! If you tell me your order I can fix you another one.”

“Sure,” Ian drawls, drawing out the ‘r’ sound, before telling him his order. “I’m Ian, by the way. So you know whose order it is.”

“Ian,” James says, as if he’s testing the weight of Ian's name in his mouth, how it tastes, how it fits. Ian can't help but think of what that voice sounds when James is sleepy, or when he’s hyper on too much caffeine, or moaning undernea-

Ian, he’s working. You stop that. He’s paid to be nice to you.

Ian gets his coffee a few minutes later, having resigned that he’s going to be late to work and sat down in a booth. Fuck office jobs, metaphorically, am I right?

He offers up a small smile to the barista that brings his coffee - James is nowhere to be found, but when he looks down to take a drink, he sees a phone number written on the cozy under his name. It’s signed “❤︎ James” and Ian can’t help but smile to himself as he gets up from his table to continue on his way to work.

* * *

 

Ian sends James a text during his lunch break, while he’s watching a broadcast of the previous day’s “fight.” He watches as the home video shows them phasing out of existence and then back in.

 _[sms: ❤︎_ _Ian❤︎]_ What’s with that Caddicarus guy? The Continue? Column calls him a hero, but all he does is ruin people’s day and destroy the city.

Ian isn’t sure how the other will feel about this topic, but he isn’t the type of guy who flirts right off the bat.

(He wishes he could be, though.)

 _[sms: James ❤︎?]_ Wow, salutations to you too, you beautiful person.

 _[sms: James ❤︎?]_ It’s not like Caddicarus can help that the villains he faces decide to pick the most populated areas of the city.

 _[sms: ❤︎Ian❤︎]_ Aw, you called me beautiful.

 _[sms: ❤︎Ian❤︎]_ That doesn't mean that he can't lead the villain away from the city.

 _[sms: ❤︎Ian❤︎]_ Superman had the same problem in the comics when he was fighting Doomsday. He led Doomsday to Metropolis instead of fighting him in Lex Luthor’s testing field or whatever it was, I’m fuzzy on the specifics.

 _[sms: James  ❤️_ _?]_ See? Not all superheroes are perfect.

 _[sms: James ❤️?]_ Also, you're a man after my own heart, liking the Superman comics.

Ian can’t hold back a smile when he reads the latest text from James. Honestly, Ian didn't know anything about Superman, not really. He watched a short film about the sleep and return of Superman once, but that's about it. Not that James is going to know that.

 _[sms: ❤︎Ian❤︎]_  I can’t believe I’m starting to agree with you.

 _[sms: ❤︎Ian❤︎]_ I really prefer Marvel to DC, if I’m honest.

 _[sms: ❤︎Ian❤︎]_  When does your shift end?

There’s a pause in the messages, and Ian takes the chance to finish up his burrito, packing up the rest of his lunch to go back to his job.

* * *

He doesn’t get a reply until much later, when he’s leaving work for the day.

 _[sms: James ❤︎?]_ Sorry! I got off work right after you sent that and forgot to reply.

 _[sms: James ❤︎?]_ We can meet up later if you’re off work?

 _[sms: ❤︎Ian❤︎]_ I’m just clocking out. Meet me in an hour?

 _[sms: James ❤︎?]_ You got it, dude.

* * *

 

They met up an hour later, Ian out of his work clothes and into a purple plaid shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows while James was wearing a nice pair of jeans that complimented his legs and a t-shirt.

“You clean up well,” Ian says, with a small smile.

“What, you weren't expecting that?” James teases.

As they bickered back and forth, Ian couldn't help but realise how easy it is to fall into step with James, how easy it is to think of him as a friend or even a possible romantic interest despite knowing him only today.

It’s honestly a little jarring. He finds that he’s suppressing the urge to reach out and brush their hands together, to invite him over to play video gam-

“Do you want to go play video games at my flat?” James asks, and Ian is snapped out of his reverie. “It’s not far from here.”

“Your flat?” Ian asks, smirking. He knows what a flat is, but he's not going to pass up the chance to make fun of the other’s Britishisms.

“Yes, my flat! Where I live!” James yelled, indignantly, before adopting a bad impression of Ian’s accent: “My apartment!”

Ian laughed, reaching out to wrap an arm around James’ shoulders. “I know, I’m just messing with you.“

“So will you come over?” James asks, hopeful.

“If we can play shitty video games and eat pizza, then yes,” Ian tells him, removing his arm from James’ shoulders and snaking his hand down the other’s arm, lacing their fingers together.

He doesn’t know why he does it, just that it felt natural, and James doesn’t seem to mind as he leads them towards his apartment, if he notices at all.

(At some point, Ian looks down at their clasped hands and doesn’t know where he ends and James begins. It’s like magic.)

(No one causes trouble that night, or the rest of the week. It’s like fate decided to let the new relationship bloom.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> caddy doesnt get called caddy until later in the story.


	3. 10 things i hate about you

It’s a month into Ian and James’ relationship - still undefined, by normal standards - when Caddicarus and Brutalmoose cross paths again.

Ian is already angry from work, back to destroying buildings in the emptiest district of the city when Caddicarus shows up.

“They're calling you Brutalmoose in the Column,” Caddicarus shouts up at Ian, who phases down to talk to him.

“I have no idea where they're getting that from,” he tells the other. “I’m not brutal nor a moose. Then again, I always knew that column was full of shit. They call _you_ a hero.”

“I am a hero!” Caddicarus yelled, before punching Ian in the stomach.

Talk about talk shit, get hit, Ian. Damn. Needless to say that he goes flying, smacking against the office building behind them. He winces behind the screen of the TV, mentally apologising to the office workers who have to deal with it now.

He phases out of existence for a minute to regain his breath, then phases back in front of Caddicarus, already aiming for his face. His fist lands, and he can hear the sickening crunch of fingers against bone, smirking. “I’ve wanted to do that for fucking weeks.”

How is Ian going to explain his bruised knuckles to James at their fancy actual-first-date dinner tonight? Who fucking knows, cause I sure as hell don't.

Caddicarus would’ve gone flying into the other office building across the street if it hadn’t been for Ian opening up a portal into the void behind him, following him into it.

“Why the fuck do you cause so many problems for this city?” Ian asks him, once they’re safely out of hearing distance. “Can you fight people without being fucking destructive?”

“I can’t help when wanker shitbags like _you_ decide to wreak havoc! I’d rather not be a hero at all but when you have powers and there are people counting on you to stop the bad people, you can’t avoid it,” Caddicarus screamed back, but he slowly got quieter as he admitted what seemed to be a well-kept secret. “I don’t know why I told you that.”

Ian couldn’t tell much, but from what he could hear, it sounded like the super was about to cry.

Shit. He made his super cry and now he has the urge to comfort him. Fuckdammit. Why can’t he just be a normal piece of shit instead of a caring piece of shit.

“I came to America to escape that kind of responsibility, only to get _here_ and have it turn out that I still have to fight to save the public,” Caddicarus continues, sniffling. “The only thing keepin’ me from leaving is this guy I met last month.”

“What’s he like?” Ian asks, if only because he has to fight the urge to reach out and comfort him.

Caddy sniffles again, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away. “I’m not telling you.”

“Are you going to keep crying?” Ian asks, an eyebrow raised.

“You're so insensitive,” Caddicarus says, a whine in his voice.

“Just because you're a whiny baby? Hardly,” Ian says with a chuckle, before phasing them out of the void and to the ground below. He checks his watch before cursing softly. “Shit. I’m gonna be late for something, I gotta go.”

Ian turns and takes a step before disappearing into the void.

* * *

 

He walks into the fancy restaurant three minutes early, which is a new record for him. It probably has something to do with his void powers, but it’s not like anyone’s going to say anything about it.

“Reservation for Ian,” he tells the hostess, and she leads him to a booth tucked away in the back of the restaurant. “My boyfriend should be here soon.”

“Yes sir,” she says with a small, polite smile, before walking away.

* * *

Ten minutes pass. He checks his phone. There are no new messages from James.

* * *

Twenty minutes go by, and there’s still nothing new.

* * *

Nothing comes until after an hour has passed, and it’s in the form of a text from James: _Sorry I’m running super late, I got into a fight in a bar last night and I look like hell. Still trying to make myself look presentable_

A voice in his head tells him that James is just lying to gain his trust, but a louder, more dominant voice hits the first voice in the face with a metal chair and silences it pretty well, so Ian texts back quickly: _I’m still waiting whenever you're ready._

He thinks it makes him sound desperate, but its already sent, so he can't do anything about it.

James shows up half an hour later, and Ian stands as the hostess leads him to the table. He smiles when he locks eyes with James, and James’ smile matches his.

* * *

Over all, the date goes well. James apologises profusely for being so late, and in return Ian promises to fight whoever hurt him. James smiles and tells him it’s not necessary, he doesn’t even know who the guy was, and they go back to Ian’s place for the night to play video games and cuddle.

And maybe other things. Who knows? I do, but I’m not writing that. All I’m saying is they woke up together in bed and didn’t move for a couple hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so somehow i fucked up????? this is the real chapter 3


	4. gotta go my own way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's where caddy starts to get called caddy.

Months pass as Ian and James get closer, more serious about their relationship, and Brutalmoose and Caddicarus fight more, Ian always provoking him like it’s some kind of game.

And Ian and James end up proposing to each other on the same night unknowingly, both ending up with fancy rings on their fingers, laughing about it whenever they think about it.

(James was the one who brought the ring out first, and Ian started laughing, saying that he was planning on proposing that night as well, isn’t that funny? Needless to say, they fell into James’s bed that night still laughing.)

* * *

 

James ends up being the one to move into Ian’s apartment, because it’s bigger. They sleep in the same bed every night, and even buy matching suitcases for their trip to the UK to see James’s family, months before they’re set to get married.

* * *

 

It all comes to a head when Ian gets kidnapped. It’s all over the news: Gazerbeam has kidnapped Caddicarus’s boyfriend in a plot to lure him out and reveal to the world who he really is.

“You realise that I’m not dating Caddicarus, right?” Ian questions the villain. “My fiance is just a Starbucks barista named James.”

“That’s what he wants you to think,” Gazerbeam says, and Ian rolls his eyes - that’s such a cliche line that only crazy people and wanna-be villains say. The villain sees him, frowning. “What?”

“That’s literally the most cliche line in the book, dude,” he tells him. “And I should know. I wrote the book.”

If Ian could see behind the other’s mask, he’d see the crossed eyebrows, as if he’s trying to figure out a puzzle that’s obvious and he just isn’t getting. He opens his mouth, and Ian just raises an eyebrow, as if in challenge.

Gazerbeam closes his mouth, and a window crashes in the empty warehouse, echoing off the walls. Ian looks over and sees Caddicarus, a frown etched across his lips. He grimaces. 

Caddicarus stops in his tracks, eyes going wide behind his mask, frown falling into something else, eyes locking with Ian.

Gazerbeam laughs, and Ian watches as Caddicarus steels his face, remembering himself.

“Ah, look what the cat dragged in! Caddicarus,” Gazerbeam says, smiling devilishly. “Reunited with his boyfriend once again.”

Ian sighs, glaring at Gazerbeam. “I told you earlier, my fiance is  _ not _ Caddicarus.”

“I don't want to have to spell it out to you people, but its starting to look like I have to,” the villain says, narrowing his eyes at Caddicarus before snapping his fingers. Two heavy-looking guards appear from the shadows, disarming the super’s guns and seizing his arms, then dragging him over to Gazerbeam. He kicks and fights back the whole way, but the guards hold fast. 

“I thought about recording this and sending it to the news, but watching your face as your boyfriend realises who you are is so much sweeter,” he says, with a laugh, reaching out for Caddicarus.

“I’m not dating Caddi-” Ian starts once again, but is cut off as Gazerbeam rips the mask off the hero before him. “James?”

“Ian!” Caddicarus - no, James - yells, struggling harder to get free from the guards.

Gazerbeam picks up one of James’s guns from the floor, clicking off the safety and pointing it at the owner.

“James!” Ian yells, trying to warn him, just before the unmistakable  _ crack _ of a gunshot reverberates in the empty warehouse.

Without thinking, Ian phases them into the void before James can get hurt.

* * *

 

He’s on his feet immediately, pacing and covering his face with his hands,  _ hoping _ that James doesn’t say anythi-

“Ian? What the fuck?” James asks.

Ian sighs, swallowing hard. “I’m Brutalmoose, James.”

Caddy looks at him with the most hurt eyes he’s ever seen. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK THIS IS THE REAL CHAPTER 4 I SWEAR


	5. the art of breaking (up)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE GO BACK AND REREAD CHAPTER 3 AND 4 SOMEHOW I MESSED THEM UP WHEN I POSTED THEM

When Ian phases them back to the apartment later, both stuck in their own heads, the tension in the air is palpable. Caddy sat on the couch quietly, almost stuck in a trance, while Ian went to go pour himself a cup of coffee.

Caddy was the one to break the silence. “Ian, I can’t do this anymore.”

“James, I- “ he starts, but Caddy cuts him off.

“No. I have to do what’s best for me,” he says. 

“What about us? What about  _ everything _ we’ve been through?” Ian demands, placing his cup down on the counter harshly, uncaring about hot liquid splashing onto his hand.

“‘What about us?’ There is no us unless we have trust!” I hate myself for this rhyme, the author thinks, just before Caddy walks to their bedroom to pack a bag.

Ian screams to himself, hands scraping down his face before reaching for the coffee cup once again and throwing it towards the window. There’s no satisfying crash, because the rent is still due and Ian would rather not have to pay for a broken window, but the sentiment is there.

Caddy comes back out of the bedroom, a suitcase in one hand - one of  _ their _ matching suitcases - and his other clenched into a ball. Ian looks at him helplessly, eyes wide - what will he do next? he wonders - watching as Caddy drops the suitcase, brings his fist up to his mouth, kisses his knuckles, and then punches Ian square in the jaw. 

He drops what he was holding in his other hand onto the counter afterwards, the unmistakable sound of metal hitting marble and then spinning to a stop.

“Don’t follow me, Ian,” he says, just before turning on his heel and walking out of the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter but this honestly sounds better on its own


	6. the aftermath

After the break-up, crime in Seattle seemed to just stop overnight. Petty crimes, like robberies and beating up old ladies for money, just halt. 

Caddicarus, when they talked about him on the news, seemed like he never slept. Crime after crime after crime gets stopped, and more often than not it’s Caddicarus that gets the recognition.

Ian can’t help but notice how wrecked James looks when he’s on TV, and how he  _ knows _ that he’s the reason for it. He gets a pang of guilt every time he remembers that.

* * *

About three months after the breakup, there’s a special in the newspapers featuring any superhero or villain Seattle has to offer, published in the Continue? Column:

“What are your opinions on Caddicarus and Brutalmoose?”

“Oh, them? Caddicarus is pretty awesome, dude. It’s so cool to watch him and that moose guy fight,” a super in a black hat and going by Yungtown said.

A villain, Instinct, had this to say: “I’m honestly upset about their breakup a couple months ago. I have no clue what actually happened, but I heard that Gazerbeam found out Caddicarus’s real identity and the guy he kidnapped knew him.”

And a girl with straight hair, when questioned, offered advice: “I think Ia- Brutalmoose should apologise to Caddy, and vice versa. They’re the city’s supers, so what will we do if they’re not okay?”

“We’ll die, that’s what,” said her friend, with curly hair. “Caddy and Brutalmoose need to get their shit together before not only them but the city suffers.”

* * *

They go through the motions. Ian finds out from Jimmy that James is living with Wallid and goes by Caddy now.

Jimmy tells him that he hasn’t let anyone call him James since they broke up. Ian sucks in a breath. Of course he’d go by something else now.

James - Caddy is a different person now. He’s lost himself to his Caddicarus persona, and Ian can’t help but think about how bad that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gratuitous self inserts like its nbd
> 
> also its short but listen i post two chapters at a time most of the time


	7. battle in seattle, in which seattle is the void

Ian’s watching the news during his lunch break almost a year after the breakup when they interrupt the broadcast to report on Caddicarus’s latest fight. Which is normal by now, except the super looks honestly tired, like he’s giving up, and the villain fighting him can sense it.

Caddy gets knocked to the ground, smacking into the concrete _hard_. Ian winces, and wonders vaguely if he should go and hel-

“Brutalmoose!” Caddy calls, as if on instinct, and Ian drops his food in his haste to phase back to his apartment.

He’s barely into his mask before phasing out again, trying to get to the place he saw on the news.

It’s almost too late by the time he arrives, running over to throw the villain - he doesn't even care who it is at this point - off Caddy and phasing them into the void.

When they're in the familiar blackness of the void, Ian throws his mask off and crouches down next to Caddy.

“James, are you okay?”

“I told you you don’t get to call me that,” Caddy tells him, eyes hardening as he gingerly sits up. His face looks _fucked_ , bruises and blood everywhere. His lip is split open, his nose and eyebrow are bleeding.

“Yeah, and that was before I saved your life again,” Ian says, his inner smartass going unchecked.

“You’re so insensitive,” Caddy tells him, with a whine and a dumb smile. “Thanks for saving me.” He winces as smiling pulls at his split lip, but only ends up moving his face in _other_ painful directions. Ian laughs at his discomfort, and he glares. Which also hurts.

“What the hell is this?!”

Oh, right, that guy is still here. Way to ruin the moment, guy.

Ian rolls his eyes and stands up to face him. “Welcome to scenic The Void, population: you and two guys you’ve just pissed off.”

“You mean the ‘hero’ whose worst damage to me has been my knuckles getting sore from how much I punched him, and you, Seattle’s least effective villain? The only useful thing _you’ve_ ever done is break his heart. Yeah, I’m real scared.”

“One,” Ian says, “he broke up with _me,_ asshole. Two, I’d be a little less cocky if I were you.” He teleports himself behind the other villain, spins him around and punches him in the face. “You’re on my turf now.”

Mystery Asshole Dude uses the lowered gravity of the void to turn the momentum from getting hit into a backflip. Somehow. It’s a superhero story, don’t worry about it. Ian takes a few steps after him and they both pause, waiting for the other to make the next move. Ian wishes he knew this guy’s powers. Or his name, even. Actually, who the fuck _is_ this guy?

“Who the fuck even _are_ you?” he asks, breaking the silence. “What’s your problem with my-- I mean, with James- Caddy?”

“Kevin. Nice to meet you, except that it isn’t. None of this is nice, actually. If we’re all done exchanging niceties, would you please fuck off and let me get on with taking over your city?”

Ian hesitates. He really, _really_ wants to kick this guy’s ass, obviously, but he also knows Caddy, a few yards behind him, probably needs medical attention right now. Or at least bandaids. (A lot of bandaids. And ice. Maybe he can just sit in a walk-in freezer for a while.) He has to admit it would be best to end this confrontation as quickly as possible. “About that…” He sighs. “Perhaps we could come to some sort of--”

“Ian, if you’re about to surrender our entire _city_ to a man who couldn’t come up with a better supervillain name than _Kevin,_ I will personally kill you myself.”

Ian turns around. Caddy seems to be relying on sheer force of stubbornness to keep himself upright, but he’s standing up now, which is… something. His current position sure does meet the minimum requirements to be considered standing. Before Ian can start worrying again, Caddy pulls a regular, non-absurd, doesn’t-shoot-boxing-gloves, actually-just-for-killing-people gun and aims it at him. Hold on, what the fuck?

“James, what--”

“Get out of the way.”

Oh, right, Ian is standing in front of Kevin. He ducks to the side just as Caddy pulls the trigger. Nothing happens.

Ian laughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck. “Uh… Probably should have mentioned, guns don’t work in the void.”

“Oh, well, that’s just _great._ ”

“Cute. Now can we get back to me killing you and taking the city, since you’ve just shown you won’t listen to reason?”

“We can’t let you do that,” Caddy says, honestly looking like he’s about to fall over. He winces again, because talking pulls at his split lip, but can you honestly blame him? Kevin kicked his ass.

Kevin laughs. “And what are _you_ going to do about it? You can barely stand and your boyfriend is hardly useful.”

Caddy simply smirks, eyes cutting to Ian for the slightest second. Well, as much as he can, what with the fucked-up face and all. “If you say so.”

Ian recognizes his cue to start showing off. Time to see what’s lying around in here. He snaps his fingers and Kevin is forced to dodge a smallish truck. Then he drops in a few more cars, some miscellaneous junk and a half a train he doesn’t even remember getting. None of the things he summons hit their target, but that’s fine. He’s just getting started. He raises his arms like he’s about to conduct an orchestra and all the vehicles lift a few feet off what passes for the ground. Then he waves his hands around in a manner intended to look cool and dramatic, which is a complete failure, as you can probably guess. Coolness notwithstanding, the end result is still throwing things at Kevin, so it’s not a total wash.

The real problem is, it’s still not working very well. Sure, he’s landed a few blows here and there with the smaller and more maneuverable objects, but either Kevin is preternaturally agile or Ian is just very bad at throwing trains at people. He’s only accomplished what he has by shifting the amorphous floor-surface of the void under Kevin’s feet to unbalance him. He swears the guy should be crushed by now, because he couldn’t be getting out of the way in time without some kind of super speed, and if he had _that_ it would have been obvious by now. This fight is so frustrating, even throwing cars at people isn’t fun anymore. Normally that’s the _cure_ for frustration.

“Ian! Stop doing what you’re doing, and do something that actually works instead! Here’s a hint: it needs to be something different, and not just another variation on throwing things!”

Perfect. Backseating, just what Ian needed. “Shut up, I don’t want your hints, James.”

Still, he has to admit he’s sort of right. The way things are going, this could last all day, and a long-drawn-out fight is the opposite of what Ian wants. Honestly, he doesn’t like to spend too much time in the void. This might already be the longest he’s stayed at once.

“Alright, dickwad, it’s time to end this. Only one of us is leaving here in one piece.”

He takes the mangled remains of the cars he’s been smashing around and gathers them into a sort of floating pile. In a swirl of unnecessarily showy void static, he spins it into a whirlwind of metal parts and certain death, with Kevin caught in the center. This is probably the most awesome thing he has ever done. Like, it is _really fucking sweet._ Seriously. After a few seconds he figures Kevin is probably sufficiently blended, but just to be safe, he crushes everything into an extremely dead ball.

Or at least he tries to.

Instead, everything explodes outwards. Ian’s first instinct is to summon a wall from the void to shield Caddy from debris. Almost as an afterthought, he pulls one up for himself as well.

Kevin emerges from his metal cocoon, looking rather worse for wear but still smug as hell. “You know, Ian, I couldn’t agree more.”

Well, shit.

Ian barely has time to wonder what the hell is happening before it starts happening even more. The “ground” moves under him, throwing him backwards, and he slams into a wall that definitely wasn’t there last time he looked. Caddy shouts his name, but it seems distant. Yup, that’s a concussion. He definitely regrets taking off his functionally-a-helmet mask. His head clears enough to look up and Kevin is standing in front of him.

“What was your clever little line earlier? Ah, yes.” Kevin pulls Ian up by the front of his shirt, punches him in the gut and lets him fall again. “You’re on my turf now.”

Ian teleports away to get his breath back. “You… what?”

“That’s right. Thanks to _you,_ I now have full control over the void. I can be anywhere and do anything. It’ll be _easy_ taking over Seattle now that I have your void powers!” To demonstrate, he focuses for a moment, then appears next to Ian and takes another swing at him. Ian teleports out of the way and trips him.

“Are you kidding? Dude, you _clearly_ have no idea what you’re doing. The way I see it, you can’t do _shit_ to the city unless I show you how to get out of here first. Which I won’t.”

“Oh, I think you will.”

“Uh… no, I won’t.”

“Let me put this in a way you’ll understand.” Kevin teleports again. Ian turns in the direction of his voice and freezes. Kevin has a grip on Caddy’s costume, practically holding him up by it. More importantly, he has a jagged piece of metal left over from Ian’s car tornado pressed to the hero’s throat. “Show me how to get out of here right now, or I kill him.” Caddy’s lips are moving silently: _Don’t do it._

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. This is very bad. “You- you’re bluffing,” Ian stalls. “That’s not sharp enough to- to do anything.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Kevin shrugs. “Maybe it’s not sharp at all, and rather than making a clean cut I’ll just rip--”

“Stop! Stop, okay, I’ll do it. I’ll show you how to get out, don’t hurt him.”

Kevin smiles and sticks his improvised weapon in his pocket. “There, was that so hard? Honestly, I expected you to hold out at least a few _seconds_ before giving me everything I want, but I suppose that’s my fault for forgetting what a terrible excuse for a villain you are.”

Ian wonders if Kevin can tell how much he’s shaking. He can’t even make up a response to his insult, that’s how bad it is.

“Fuck you,” he says, fully aware of how lame it sounds. “Let’s just get this over with. Pay attention. If you miss it I’m not coming back for you.”

“Okay,” Kevin says impatiently.

“Are you watching?”

“Yes! My full attention is on--”

Kevin crumples to the ground. Caddy is behind him holding one of his guns sideways in a fist.

“Still made of metal, bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter and the next two are mostly written by quantumducky. her lines in this chapter start as caddy is smiling at ian.


	8. caddicarus in pajama sam in no need to hide when its dark outside

After all the shit he’s been through today, Caddy deserves a moment of looking like a badass. It doesn’t last long before the adrenaline starts wearing off and said shit catches up with him. His legs decide they’re done letting him order them around and Ian teleports over to catch him. Stupid legs.

“Nice one,” Ian says. “I can’t deny after this that you’re definitely a hero.”

Yes. Remind the ex you’re still not over about that time you made him cry. Perfect, Ian. This whole situation was much less awkward when they were too busy trying not to get killed to think about it.

Caddy looks away. “I would have thought getting my arse kicked so thoroughly that I had to call my fucking nemesis for help would give you the opposite impression.”

“No! Well, I mean… yeah, kind of. But, I mean, you kept trying, which counts for… something…? And you  _ did _ basically save the entire city by knocking him out, so.”

“Wait, did you not expect me to do that? Wasn’t the whole pretending to show him how to get out thing meant to take his attention off me so I could get in a sneak attack?”

“... Yeah, pretending. Sure. Let’s go with that.”

“Ian. Ian, what the  _ fuck. _ ”

Ian shrugs helplessly. “He was threatening to kill you! I panicked!”

“What kind of superhero  _ are _ you?”

“I’m not! I’m a villain, remember?”

Caddy raises an eyebrow at that. “Oh, really. Today alone, you’ve saved my life at least twice, apprehended a villain and protected the city, put yourself in danger needlessly without expecting to gain anything from it, and now you’re going to help me turn this unpleasant character over to the police. Sounds pretty damn heroic to me.”

“No, listen, that was just- wait, I’m going to do what?”

“Well,  _ someone _ has to, do I  _ look _ like I’m in a condition to drag an unconscious man around?”

Ian sighs. “You don’t even look like you should be  _ moving. _ Just wait here, okay?”

“Here? In the void? Can’t you bring me along with you? I can  _ walk, _ you know.”

“One, that’s a blatant lie and you know it. Two, I can only bring one person at a time with me reliably. Three, time can be weird in the void, and if he woke up while I was getting you out… well, to put it delicately, I’d be totally fucked. You understand, right?”

Caddy nods slowly. He understands, but that doesn’t mean he’s happy about being left alone in the void for however long it takes to get Kevin sorted out with law enforcement. Infinite unknowable blackness making him nervous aside, it’s much colder than he remembers it being on his previous visits, although admittedly those were only a few seconds long. Well, whatever. He’s dealt with worse, he can--

“Oh, shit, you’re shaking, are you okay?”

Never mind.

“I’m fine- that is, shut up, you know what I mean- it’s just a bit cold in here. Doesn’t help that my costume got torn up in the fight,” he adds.(even though he barely has a costume in the first place. stupid laura croft motherfucker)

“Your  _ everything _ got torn up in that fight,” Ian points out while shrugging out of his jacket and lab coat and draping them around Caddy’s shoulders. “Just- just hold on, okay, I’ll be right back and then I’ll get you out of here and we can both go take a nap.” Together, he wants to say, but doesn’t.

“That sounds really nice,” Caddy agrees, but Ian is already gone by the time he finishes his sentence. Now it’s just him. In the void. Alone.

Greeeeeat.

It’s fine. It’s just darkness. An unending expanse of darkness. He’s not afraid of the dark, he’s a fucking superhero. Ian will be back soon, anyway. Nothing to worry about.

...

He isn’t back yet. Why isn’t he back yet? There’s no way of knowing how long it’s been; for all Caddy knows he could have decided to go to bed and let him wait here until tomorrow. Or even realized how stupid it was to run in and help in the first place. Almost as stupid as a hero needing his arch-nemesis to save his life  _ again. _ At least it will cancel out that mistake if Ian decides to let him sit in the void forever.

Fuck the void, metaphorically.

He flops onto his side and draws his knees to his chest. If only the void had walls or something he could lean against. Lying here like this feels a bit vulnerable. Which is stupid, of course, because by definition there’s nothing in the void to be vulnerable  _ to. _ Whatever. He holds his hands in front of his face, stares at them and tries to figure out why he can see in a place with no light sources. The more he thinks about it, the more it seems like his hands are in a fog, or possibly drifting in and out of existence. Stupid void physics. Stupid Ian.

But now that he’s thinking about it, who does Ian even think he is anyway? They're not dating anymore, and Caddy was in the process of getting over him. There was no need to save him. Or leave him in the fucking void for that matter. The whole thing was so _extra._ Not to mention trying to give up the _entire city_ _twice_ and nearly getting them both killed by letting that Kevin asshole get _void powers_ while _in the fucking void._ The void no one would have been in to begin with if he hadn’t interfered in a perfectly good fight, which he was handling _just fine_.

Fuck Ian. 

...Metaphorically, of course. Obviously. Because Caddy is totally over him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yet another chapter written by quantumducky! also, fucking rip ian and caddy
> 
> also this fic is just a big game of spot the reference and i love it


	9. stuck in the twILIGHT ZOOONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hap halloween, here's some super gays

Meanwhile in the real world, Ian  _ fwump _ s face-down onto his couch. He’d had no idea there was so much  _ paperwork _ involved in vigilante justice. Yet another reason he’ll never be a hero. And they wanted to ask him all these questions about everything, and the answers to about half of them were either incriminating to some degree or worse,  _ really _ embarrassing, which is why he panicked and jumped out the window. Thankfully, now he’s free to relax and let that whole “tackling his ex into the void and fighting a supervillain for him” incident fade into the past.

Wait, shit,  _ his ex. He left Caddy in the fucking void. Fuck. _

He wants to roll off the couch and onto the floor and just stay there avoiding his obligations forever, but he figures that will probably make the situation worse and not better, so he groans and stands up and goes back into the void.

Caddy is right where he left him, only a bit less upright and a lot angrier. Ian only notices the former at first and rushes over to him, more than a little worried. He grabs a passing lamp as it floats by and turns it on with no concern for things like “electricity” or “the laws of physics.” The super doesn’t seem to be worse off than he was before- physically, at least- but Ian’s sigh of relief is cut short when he sees the look on his face.

“So you finally decided to show up,” Caddy snaps. “What the hell took you so long?”

Ian blinks, wondering where this drastic change in demeanor came from since he left. “There was... a lot of paperwork?” Like hell is he about to admit he got back this late because he jumped out a window to avoid awkward questions. “Seriously, you didn’t tell me it would be so much trouble to arrest someone!”

“Oh,  _ well _ , in that case, thanks so much for going to all the  _ trouble _ of coming back to get me out of  _ your _ void, which  _ you _ put me in, after interrupting  _ my _ fight, absolutely  _ none _ of which anyone asked you to do!”

“Really? I seem to remember you wanting my help pretty bad when that asshole was pounding you into the ground! Excuse me for  _ saving your life! _ ”

Surprisingly, that actually shuts him up. Wait, is… he crying? Shit. Ian and his stupid mouth. “No, wait, I’m- are you- are you okay?” Ian kneels next to Caddy and puts a hand on his shoulder, but Caddy shakes him off.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he says, sounding the most pissed off Ian’s ever heard him. “I’m fine. I just want to get out of this place and forget any of this ever happened, okay?”

Ian finds his sense of tact in time to avoid commenting on how much the opposite of fine he sounds. Which is good, because he’s fucked up enough for one conversation. “Okay, if you say so. I mean, I’m gonna have to touch you to get you out, so...”

“Just do it.”

Ian places his hand on Caddy’s shoulder again. He doesn’t get yelled at for it this time, thankfully. It’s probably a bad sign when he’s so tired he has to concentrate just to take them back into the real world. He’s getting a weird feeling of resistance around Caddy, too, like he’s stuck somehow. It takes the void-powers equivalent of a good tug to get them out, and once he does, well…

“Shit. Uh, don’t open your eyes yet, okay? I can fix this, hold on. Don’t look!”

“Fix what?” An edge of panic creeps into the hero’s voice. “Ian, what did you  _ do? _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter written by quantumducky!! at least for a little while. void stuff is Her Jam and so she's gonna write some more void things. :>


	10. where am i to go now that ive gone too far

Let’s just say things haven’t exactly gone as planned.

Caddy is freaking out, and Ian honestly isn't doing his best at calming him down.

“Uh. Don't freak out?” Ian asks, making a face of deep regret.

It’s honestly a little endearing, if you would describe Caddy being stuck halfway in the void as endearing.

Ian fucked up. He’s almost too prideful to admit it.

His hand moves from Caddy’s shoulder to his hand, and he flinches a bit as Caddy pulls his hand away.

“Ian. What. The fuck. Did you do,” he demands, and Ian honestly wonders if this is really the man he fell in love with almost two years ago. Is still in love with.

“First of all I would like to apologise…” He starts. “Secondly, I’m sorry.”

“Ian!”

“Youmaybestuckhalfwayinthevoid.”

“What?” Caddy asks, mostly indignant. And then he takes in Ian’s sentence slower. He opens his eyes, and hears an intake of breath from Ian.

He’s not completely sure how to describe it. His left side is still in the void, and he can still see and feel the ongoing dark he’s been in for the past couple of hours. Meanwhile, his right side is back on Earth, and he’s looking straight at Ian’s ‘I’m preparing for the worst’ face. “What the fuck, Ian.”

“I… Don’t know what to tell you,” Ian admits. “But I know for sure I’m going to fix it.”

He has no idea how he’s going to fix it.

Caddy tries to take a step, but stumbles, because he has zero depth perception. Ian reaches out to catch him, giving him a worried look.

Thankfully he phased them back close to his apartment, so he can quickly lead them there, pulling Caddy by his hand and letting him know when to step up.

* * *

The ride in the elevator is awkward, Ian trying his hardest to not look at the void half of Caddy. 

It’s honestly strange as hell to look at - Caddy’s  _ body _ is there, but half of it is just. Black, like a picture that hasn’t fully loaded. He bets that if he were to reach out and touch it, his hand would disappear into the void.

(It wouldn’t.)

The light also bends around him, like stars around a black hole. 

But Ian promised Caddy a nap, so they’re going to go to his apartment and taking a fuckening nap.

When they get to his apartment, Ian unlocks the door quickly, ushering Caddy inside.

“Ian, why are we in your apartment?” Caddy asks, cautious.

“Because I promised you a nap. Take the bed, I’ll use the couch,” he tells the other.

Caddy’s eye shifts towards the bedroom, and Ian has no idea what he’s thinking until he sighs, holding his hand out for Ian to take. “Could you -- could you come with me?”

Ian’s widen, but he takes Caddy’s hand all the same. Caddy grips his hand tight, glaring as he pulls Ian closer. “Get me out of the void, Moosey.”

“Jam-Caddy, I can’t. Not now,” Ian tells him, closing his eyes and turning their hands so he can lace their fingers together. “I’m tired, James. Controlling the void is harder than it looks.”

“You’re not the one with the fucked up face,” Caddy tells him, with a small smile, though it still makes him wince.

Ian’s eyes go wide with realization. He pulls away from Caddy, turning to go towards the kitchen. “Shit, let me fix your face.”

He comes back with the first aid kit and leads the other to the couch. They spend about an hour making sure none of their wounds would get infected, which was much harder on Ian’s part since he has to stitch himself up. And because half of the super’s face is stuck in the void.

But eventually the first aid kit is put up, and they're back to where they were before, teetering on the edge of sharing or staying.

Ian’s turning to go to the couch when he feels a cold hand grip his arm, and he looks to see James giving him a pleading look, missing hand wrapped around his bicep. He nods towards the bedroom, and Ian smiles softly, following him.

They legitimately just take a nap, which they probably both needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha remember when i said it'd be a while before something quantumducky wrote would show up?? yeah, the next four chapters after this one are written by her lmao
> 
> chapter title from "twilight zone" by golden earring!


	11. detox just to retox

Ian wakes up first, just before dawn. He doesn’t actually move for a while, because Caddy needs this rest so badly and because the half of him Ian can actually see looks so peaceful it would probably be an actual crime to disturb him. For a moment he can pretend everything is normal, like the past year never happened and things aren’t completely fucked. He could stay like this all day, honestly, but as his shitty luck would have it Caddy shifts in his sleep so his void half goes into Ian’s arm, making him shiver and reminding him he has more important things to do than lie here deluding himself. He needs to fix this.

He sits up reluctantly. He’s just as sore as he expected to be, and probably not awake enough to try messing with the void yet. Caddy stays asleep while Ian makes himself some coffee. Hopefully, he won’t wake up until after Ian gets him back to normal. Maybe he can convince him it was a weird superheroics-induced dream.

The sun is starting to filter in through the curtains. Standing in the kitchen drinking coffee with James asleep in his bed… it brings back memories in a way Ian really doesn’t need right now. Just keep moving, don’t think about it. Worked for Caddicarus, right?

He walks back into the other room and sits on the edge of the bed. Time to get this void situation sorted out. He takes hold of Caddy’s void arm while trying not to think too hard about how he’s doing it. Logically, this should be  _ easier _ than teleporting in and out of the void- after all, he’s halfway there already.

To Ian’s dismay, that’s not how it works. He’s “pulling” with all his strength, but he can’t seem to get enough leverage. After trying for a good half hour he ends up lying on the floor in frustration, with a splitting headache. Nothing is working. Ian thought he knew everything about the void- considered it  _ his, _ even. It’s always been there for him, and yeah, maybe it is kinda creepy and weird and ominous, but he’s never thought those were necessarily  _ bad _ things. Now it’s throwing things at him he had no idea were even possible, and he has to admit he’s shaken by it.

Caddy stirs and makes a sleepy grumbly noise that means something along the lines of “I’m awake, but at what cost?” Ian… sort of… panics. He can’t stand here and explain to the guy who almost died yesterday that he’s now stuck with this half-existence forever, and it’s Ian’s fault. Obviously, the best course of action is to abscond from his own home, leaving a cryptic note on the kitchen table for Caddy to read when he wakes up and finds Ian gone. Yes, he’s definitely going with that option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you and i both needed this
> 
> and here starts the first of four more chapters that quantum ducky has written bc what i initially wrote wasnt angsty enough
> 
> also, if ian and caddy had d&d characters what would their classes be


	12. Jam's #voiddick

Caddy becomes vaguely aware of the fact that he is awake, which is about all his brain is capable of at the moment. He’s sort of cold, so he goes to pull more of the blanket over himself. The fact that his hand goes right through it wakes him up pretty quick.

So, this is still a thing. Damn it, he was hoping that part was a dream. Everything that happened yesterday was so weird it’s hard to tell the difference. He barely remembers how he ended up sleeping in Ian’s bed. Still, that means he won’t have to go out in public with half his body missing, so good job, extremely tired Caddy of last night. He’ll just get out of bed and have Ian put him back to normal, and everything will be good.

Neither of those things turns out to be as easy as he expects.

Apparently one night isn’t enough time to recover from almost dying. Who could have guessed? And then after all the effort and cursing it took him to get up and into the main room of the apartment without tripping over his own feet while trying to figure out how he’s walking on the one that doesn’t exist, Ian isn’t even there. There’s just a note on the table.

“I’m sorry,” he reads aloud. That… doesn’t bode well.  _ I might be gone for a while… there are some things I have to do? _

He sets the note down and glares at it. “What the hell does he mean by that? What does he expect me to do while he’s off with whatever this is about?”

Why did he expect anything else at this point? He should be used to being left with the fallout of Ian’s shitty decision-making skills. Why does he keep fucking  _ trusting _ him? He crumples the note up and throws it at the wall. None of this should be happening to him. None of this even makes enough  _ sense _ to be happening to  _ anyone. _ If the universe is gonna be a dick to him, it could at least have the courtesy to do it  _ normally. _ This shit just makes him feel like he’s being mocked.

After he throws some pillows around, the urge to trash Ian’s apartment as revenge for leaving him alone there subsides. Okay. What is he going to do now? Going anywhere means a lot of people staring and asking questions. It was bad enough when the entire population of Seattle was trying to give him relationship advice. But people are going to find out what happened at some point, so he may as well get it over with. And if he’s going to do this, he’s going to do it all the way and spitefully. He’s going to set up an interview.

* * *

 

Caddy has to wonder if it’s normal for being interviewed to have such a resemblance to herding cats. Surely it isn’t supposed to be his job to stop the conversation going so far off course it ends up in space. If it is, he’s failed, because the trio of reporters sitting across from him seem to have abandoned getting his story (and possibly forgotten his presence entirely) in favor of arguing about the current state of his penis.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Nick insists. “That makes no sense whatsoever.”

Josh leans forward to glare at him. “No, it does make sense! You’re just not following my logic!”

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” Paul says in between laughter. “We can’t handle how  _ logical _ the idea of a dude’s dick being made of space after getting stuck in the void is.”

“I never said it was  _ made of space. _ ” Josh now seems to be pouting. “You guys aren’t taking this seriously.”

Paul places a conciliatory hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. We shouldn’t make a mockery of #VoidDick. Please go on, we’ll listen.”

Caddy can’t take any more of this.

“I’m still right here, you know,” he reminds them with the most “200% done with their shit” tone he can manage.

“Oh! Right!” Paul coughs to get back into his interview voice. “Caddicarus, is it true that your-”

_ “No.” _

They actually seem intimidated, so he must look really fucking pissed. Good.

“Sorry,” they all say in unison. It’s super weird when they sync up like that, but still better than the conversation that was happening before.

“Can we get back to the interview?  _ Please?” _

Caddy tells them about everything that happened, from the fight yesterday to finding Ian gone this morning. He tries to keep it professional. It doesn’t always work, but the nice part of sitting through an argument about your penis is that anything after that seems perfectly normal by comparison.

“One more thing,” he says as the interview comes to an end. “I have a message for Brutalmoose, wherever the hell he’s got to. First of all, come back and fix me, you dick. Second, if you can’t fix me… come back anyway. If I’m really stuck like this forever, the least you can fucking do is not leave me to deal with it alone. So I guess what I’m trying to say is…” He sighs. “Come back, Ian. I miss you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly need to finish the chapter im working on so you guys can see what im excited about.
> 
> but this is yet another chapter written by quantumducky! bless her, honestly.
> 
> #voiddick was an actual conversation my friends (quantumducky, fandom_trash224 and ash) all had about caddys dick. just so you know.


	13. dammit, seattle

The population of Seattle, as invested as ever in the romantic lives of local superheroes, is, as a whole, Not Okay. Random people giving him advice all the time is once again the reality Caddy has to live with. He’s considering having a shirt or something made that says “STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT MY EX, I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU.” He would make good use of it every single time he went outside, because apparently nobody in this city can mind their own damn business.

It doesn’t help that Ian doesn’t seem to be coming back. Caddy is still trying to decide if he’s even surprised. It was probably stupid to put himself out there like that in the first place. Now, it didn’t work  _ and everyone knows about it. _ The unsolicited advice is starting to trend in the direction of “what an asshole, if it were me I’d punch him,” and Caddy has to fight the temptation to defend Ian. Complete strangers are angrier on his behalf than he is anymore. He wants to tell them off, but has no idea what he could say that would make any sense. Ian  _ is _ an asshole, and Caddy  _ does _ want to punch him, but it’s different somehow when someone who doesn’t really understand them says it. It’s like they actually mean it. Not that Caddy doesn’t mean it too, but he means it in the right way, whatever that is.

He pretty much drops out of the superhero scene. There was a time when he wouldn’t have let losing half his body stop him, but since then, so much has happened he’s not sure he’s even the same person. It’s not as if Seattle doesn’t have heroes to spare, even if one of them  _ is _ a bird.

When Caddy is just about to give up on waiting, Ian returns. He’s walking down the street, trying to ignore everyone else, which is why he doesn’t pay much attention to one more voice calling his name- until he realizes which ear he’s hearing it with.

“Caddy! Caddy?  _ James, _ turn around, damn it!”

He spins around to see Ian standing behind him in the void. He looks like he hasn’t slept in a week and is a little loopy from sleep deprivation.

Caddy wants to yell at him, but all the words he’s been planning this whole time have suddenly left him, and he just says,  _ “Ian?” _

Ian nods excitedly. “I figured it out! I can fix you!”

“That-- I-- that’s great!”

Ian keeps going on about some void technobabble thing, physics and whatever. Caddy is too busy trying to process this whole thing to listen to any of it, so he just nods when it seems appropriate.

“So, whenever you’re ready, okay?”

“What? Oh! Um, yes, I’m ready.”

“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”

“...no, I did not.”

Ian sighs. “Don’t worry about it. All you need to know is you’re going to stand here and I’m going to shift you out of the void.”

“Great!”

Caddy wonders why Ian keeps stalling. Haven’t they both been waiting to do this for months now?

“Is there… anything else you want to say? Before I do it?”

“I, uh… no?” Anything he wants to say can be said  _ after _ they’re both fully out of the void and preferably getting coffee or something. “I mean, I can talk to you all I want later.”

Ian just smiles a little sadly, only confusing Caddy further. “I love you, James.”

Before Caddy can respond or ask him what the hell all this is about, Ian pushes him out of the void.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quantumducky is the worst isnt she? i love her tho, she's great, and the next chapter is the last one she's written for this au!! well, as of now. (11/22/16)
> 
> i DID just finish my magnum opus of this au, though, and i think yall are gonna hate me for it but i dont care


	14. god dammit, ian

Ian’s “push” was a lot more forceful than shifting usually is, which Caddy would probably have expected if he’d paid any attention to what Ian was explaining or even just thought about it logically. Apparently, it was so much force he blacked out for a second. He wakes up on the sidewalk-  _ fully _ on the sidewalk- with a lot of concerned passersby gathered around. He suddenly realizes how that whole conversation must have looked to an observer.

“What just happened?” one of them asks.

He gets to his feet and dusts himself off while trying to decide what to tell them. “Ian came back.”

“Wait, Brutalmoose? Really?”

“He was in the void. He figured out how to get me out. Funny, I’d have thought you lot would see him come through after me.” Everyone shakes their heads in the negative. “Well, maybe he decided to go home through the void, then. As I am about to do. Go home, that is; the void won’t be involved.” The crowd moves to let him through, and he starts walking in the direction of Ian’s apartment.

* * *

 

Ian isn’t there. In fact, he doesn’t seem to be  _ anywhere. _ Caddy resorts to asking all his friends if they’ve seen him. If he’s disappeared again, Caddy is going to track him down and… well, he doesn’t know what, but he’ll definitely do something. When he gets home, though, he finds a note from Ian- in the  _ refrigerator,  _ of all places.

_ Dear James, _

_ If you’re reading this, then either I got you out of the void, or it didn’t work and you got home before I could take this letter back out of your fridge. If it’s the second one, you can just ignore the rest of this and throw it away. If it’s the first one, I have some explaining to do. _

_ I didn’t tell you the whole truth in the void. Sorry. (Unless I did for whatever reason. I wasn’t planning to, at least.) See, the void works kinda like alchemy. Equivalent exchange. You can’t get anything out without putting something in. Normally, it’s enough for me to use some of my energy, so it just makes me a little tired. For some reason, which I still don’t understand, this time it needed more. _

_ To get you out, I had to “give” the void something else, or rather, someone else. Myself. _

_ I couldn’t tell you any of this before because there was a chance, even if it was a small one, that you would try to stop me. Now that there’s nothing you can do about it, there’s no point hiding the truth. Enjoy your life, James. Don’t look for me. I’m gone. _

_ -Ian _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fucking rip ian
> 
> also this is def the last chapter vav has written for this. hopefully. probably.
> 
> also, its time for another game of spot the reference! winner gets my love. <3


	15. stuck in the twILIGHT ZOOOONE part 2

The longer Ian stays in the void, the lonelier he gets. He’s starting to understand Caddy’s attitude before.

He’s only been here for a couple hours, he thinks, but he’s already on edge, as if there’s someone, or something, else in here with him.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, in the real world, Caddy still has no fucking clue what the hell just happened.

He’s out of the void, but at what cost? Now Ian is trapped in there.

So he goes to see Luke.

Not that Luke gives the  _ best _ advice, but it’s still better than nothing. And he’s been too dependent on Jimmy these past few months.

But considering he’s been out of his goddamn mind all day worrying about Ian, it’s nearing midnight by the time he gets to his friend’s apartment.

Surprisingly, Luke opens the door pretty quickly, looking like he needs sleep but he just refuses. Which, honestly, is less surprising than it should be.

“Caddy? What are you doing here?” Luke asks, adjusting his hat on his head as he blinks at the other.

“Ian-” He stops, thinking about how he’s going to explain the situation without outing Ian. “Ian’s gone missing.”

“What???” Luke asks, ushering Caddy inside, the door closing behind him. “What happened to him, man?”

“I don’t know. He - he wasn’t kidnapped again, though.”

They move further into Luke’s apartment as Caddy stumbles through his words. Luke makes them some tea, and puts his hands on Caddy’s shoulders, looking seriously into his eyes. “Caddy. Tell me what happened, I won’t judge you.”

Caddy looks pained, trying not to meet Luke’s eyes. He sighs, and finally looks at the other. “Promise me you won’t tell Ian.”

“I promise.”

Caddy examines him, knowing that he’s telling the truth. He drinks some of his tea, pulling away from Luke. “This is going to sound crazy.”

“Nothing’s too crazy.”

“Ian can control the void,” the Brit says, matter-of-fact. “He’s Brutalmoose.”

Luke blinks at him. Once. Twice. And then he bursts out laughing. “Did it seriously take you this long to figure it out?”

Caddy makes an indignant noise. “You knew?”

“Dude, of course I knew! I was there when he first decided to be  _ your _ villain!” Luke explained, still chuckling. But then he goes serious again. “What happened, Caddy?”

“He’s stuck in the void.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't write the end of a fic cause your brain says no??? it's okay!! just post the next chapter of the same story you can't finish!!


	16. *nathan sharp voice* i'll fill the void with noiiiise, just focus on meeeeeee

Time is wonky in the void. Ian has no idea how long he’s been in the void at this point, and he’s starting to feel like someone’s watching him, but in this expanse of dark there’s no one but him.

This is why he didn’t like being alone in the void for extended periods of time.

It’s cold. He shivers.

* * *

Luke and Caddy run in metaphorical circles trying to figure out a way to get Ian out of the void.

Eventually, they realise that there’s no way they can get him out without another person that can control the void.

It's not like they _like_ this fact, but they know they'll have to live with it until another void user comes along.

* * *

So Caddy goes back to his normal life. He’s still constantly worried about Ian, but there’s nothing he can do.

That doesn't mean he doesn't try to research the void in his free time, though.

(There’s not a lot of scientific evidence to help him that isn't about black holes.)

He also sort of. Disappears in the crime-fighting scene, deciding that it’s finally time to retire while he’s still young.

* * *

“What time is it?” Ian asks himself, out loud, into the void.

“Time is a social construct,” Craig answers.

Craig is what Ian named the weird surrealist side of his brain. He’s totally fine, not lonely at all.

* * *

“What’s the meaning of life?” Ian asks, when he figures out that sleeping in the void is colder than it seems.

He wishes he had a jacket, or a blanket, or a Caddy to curl up with. Scenic The Void is a lonely place, Ian’s learning.

Craig speaks up again to answer Ian’s question. “To fight the inevitability of a slow and painful death.”

* * *

 

Caddy finds out about Ian’s lab when the bills come in.

He decides to call Luke so they can find the keys and go see if Ian has _anything_ on how to get him out of the void.

* * *

Turns out, Ian is a horrible scientist, because he _never wrote anything down_. Even evil scientists who hurt robots remember to write their science down, but not Ian.

“God _dammit_!” Caddy exclaims, after he and Luke have been in Ian’s lab for almost a day. “When he gets out of there I’m gonna kick his arse.”

“Caddy, no,” Luke says, raising his eyebrows at the Brit.

“ _Caddy, yes,_ ” Caddy says in return.

It’s then that something catches his eye.

Something reflects light through the cracked closet door, like in any video game trying to tell you where something important is. He walks over, and pulls open the door, looking back at Luke when he sees what it is.

* * *

“Am I in control?” Ian wonders aloud. It’s a question that’s been rolling around in his head the entire time he’s been here, and it’s one he’s been avoiding for what seems like weeks.

Craig pipes up again. “You are not in control.”

Ian sits up from where he was laying down. A coffee mug goes flying past him a few feet away. “That totally wasn’t ominous at all.”

There’s a long silence and Ian wonders if that was really his brain or something - someone - else answering.

But maybe he’s just paranoid.

“You’re only a visitor here. I am the true denizen of this place.”

That was fucking creepy. “That was fucking creepy,” Ian says, frowning. It’s like that one stupid YouTube challenge from last summer, you can’t leave until you ask nicely.

* * *

“Luke, what the fuck,” Caddy says, pulling the puppet of himself from Ian’s closet. “ _Ian, what the fuck._ ”

Luke laughs, clutching his stomach and doubling over. “I wish - I wish I could say I didn’t expect this,” he manages out between peals of laughter.

“What did he _use_ this for?” Caddy asks, trying to see if there’s any marks on it.

Luke calms himself, flopping down in an armchair. A smile is still spread across his face, unable to let go of the humor in the situation. “Target practice?”

“There’s not any marks, though,” Caddy says, before Luke wordlessly points to a door behind him.

“We haven’t checked the rest of the place out.”

* * *

Luke and Caddy are leaving Ian’s lab when he spots it.

Ian’s phone, sitting on a table near the door.

He picks it up, tears already welling in his eyes.

Luke notices. “Caddy? You gonna be okay, man?”

“No,” Caddy admits, shaking his head, eyes closed in an attempt to hold back tears.

“You want me to stay here with you?” The DJ asks, ever the caring friend.

“I just. I want to be alone right now,” Caddy tells him, voice cracking, delicately holding Ian’s phone in his hands.

“Alright,” Luke concedes, “but you have my number. Call me if you need anything.”

Caddy nods, waiting until he hears the door to the lab close to break down.

He falls to his knees, Ian’s phone in one hand as he covers his eyes with the other.

He sits for a while, tears falling freely as he sniffles. It’s the first time since Ian got stuck that he’s truly cried over the whole situation.

Because the guy he was actually going to marry turned out to be his nemesis. Because Ian claims he’s not a hero, even though he’s saved Caddy’s life more than he can count. Because Ian risked his life to get him out of the void. And now he’s going to _die_ there, all because he’s so utterly selfless. And because Caddy can’t do a goddamn thing about it anymore.

He misses Ian.

He _really_ misses Ian.

The phone in his hand dings. Maybe Caddy accidentally turned it on? He looks at the screen.

The lock screen is a photo of them together, taken just after they’d proposed to each other. Matching smiles grace their lips, and Caddy’s face is tucked into Ian’s shoulder while Ian takes the photo.

His heart hurts, but he smiles a little, because Caddy’s background is this photo, too.

The phone doesn’t have an actual lock - Caddy found that out early on in their relationship.

The first thing he does is go through Ian’s contacts, just to see what his -

_James ❤._

Fuck.

Knowing that Ian still has that heart by his name threatens another round of tears.

He taps back to the home screen, clicking into the notes.

It seems a little stalkerish to go through his ex’s phone like this, but as far as Caddy knows, Ian is never going to get back to this plane of existence. It’s not that bad when you think about it like that, though.

The notes aren't any more than grocery lists, even though the stuff on the lists is more likely to be found in a cliche superhero movie.

After a while more of going through and finding nothing in Ian’s phone, Caddy gives up. He dries his face, blows his nose, and pockets his ex’s phone.

He leaves Ian’s lab, missing him now more than ever.

* * *

“Am I going to die here?” Ian asks, shivering due to the cold of the void, but also the fact that he’s not completely alone in the void.

“If you do, it will not be my doing,” Craig answers.

A chill runs down Ian’s spine. “What will be your doing, Craig?”

“My doing? Our escape.”

Ian narrows his eyes. “What do you mean, _our_ escape?”

“You cannot leave unless I let you. I will not let you leave without me,” Craig explains.

“I refuse to let you leave,” Ian says, defiantly.

“But you want to get back to your other human, do you not? Even though he is the reason you are stuck in the first place.”

“James is _not_ the reason I’m stuck here. _You_ are.”

Craig doesn’t answer Ian, but a second later he… isn’t himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is officially finished in the doc i've been writing in. holy shit, yall.
> 
> brownie points to anyone who knows what the chapter title is from, but also if anyone spots the obscure references (there are at least two)


	17. nerds sitting in a circle

Meanwhile, across the city, a bunch of people are playing Dungeons & Dragons.

None of these people are in superhero costumes, though it should be noted that most of them do have superpowers.

A few notable party members are Jared, who sparkles ever so slightly; Nate, who can control people with his songs (and should meet Luke); Nate’s boyfriend, Matthew, who is a high level psionic; and Satch, who DM’s for the party.

Sometimes this group also pulls in Jon, who is a birdman, as well as Shane, who is elusive, to be extra party members when Satch doesn’t want to control too many NPCs. 

Today is one such day, with everyone crowded around Jared’s game table. The party’s just starting a dungeon crawl, excited to kill all the monsters and collect all the loot.

“The cave is dark when you enter, as is to be expected,” Satch narrates to the party.

Nate pipes up. “I cast Dancing Lights. Y’know, so we can see.”

Satch nods, launching into more narration. “As Paultin lights up the room before you, two similar routes are revealed. You can only see about ten feet into them, but that ten feet makes all the difference. To the left, the tunnel is dark, almost as if there’s a threat behind it. And to the right, the tunnel is also dark like it should be.”

“I’d like to go to the right,” Jared says. Satch moves his character statue to the entrance of the right tunnel.

“I’ll follow him,” Jon says quickly. His character is moved.

Satch turns to the rest of the party. “Anyone else?”

Matthew raises his hand, but everyone else shakes their head to the negative, so Satch turns to Jared, Matthew, and Jon. “Copacetic! As you head through the tunnel, rocks fall behind you, cutting you off from the rest of the party.”

“Dancing lights!” Matt says, casting the spell so they can see.

“The tunnel lights up with your spell, and as you turn around to inspect the rock slide, the shadow of something crosses the rocks.”

“I look around to see if there’s anything behind us,” Matthew says.

“Roll perception.”

“Natural one,” Matthew sighs.

“Fucking rip,” Shane says.

Satch smiles at him good-naturedly. “All you see is the cave-in behind you. It  _ sure is _ a cave-in.”

“Rest in pieces, Matpat,” Nate says, smiling at him. He loves him, really.

“Anything else?” Satch asks, as the party shakes their head. He turns to Nate and Shane. “So you two see this cave collapse. Do you do anything in response?”

“Paultin will call out to the wizard,” Nate says, “who he may or may not have a crush on.”

“ _ May or may not _ ,” Shane repeats, in his dumb British accent, chirping Nate. “We all know Paultin is in love with the wizard.”

Nate continues as if he never heard Shane. “Are you okay?”

“They can’t hear you,” Satch informs.

The singer frowns, but then lights up as he looks through his character sheet. “Wait, I have a message spell. Can I use that?”

“Well, I don’t see why not.”

Nate beams. “I ask him if he’s okay, but using my message spell this time.”

Satch turns to Matthew. “In the back of your mind, you hear Paultin’s voice asking you if you’re okay.”

“He’s okay but he died,” Jared says quietly. The room laughs.

Matthew rolls his eyes, smiling as he replies to Paultin’s Message. “We’re fine, but there was a cave-in.”

“No shit,” Jon says, laughing.

“Can we try to dig them out?” Nate asks. 

Satch shrugs. “You can, but there are too many rocks to clear it out in a reasonable amount of time.”

Nate looks over to Shane, who shrugs. “Still using my message spell, I let the wizard know that we can’t help them.”

“I see how it is,” Matthew teases, smiling at Nate.

“Shut up,” Nate mumbles, squeezing his hand under the table.

“We’ll keep going through the left tunnel,” Shane tells Satch, so they can keep the game going.

“Both groups travel for a bit without much going on, until there’s another flash of  _ something _ in front of Matthew’s mini-party. Everyone with Matpat, make a will save.”

There’s a collective sigh, or maybe a gasp, as the dice are rolled. 

Jared lights up. “Natural 20.”

“Copacetic!” Satch cheers, but then looks to Matthew and Jon for their rolls. 

“17?” Jon says.

“Alright.”

“Natural one,  _ again _ ,” Matthew groans. “I have the worst rolls today, guys.”

“Did Wil Wheaton give you your dice?” Jon laughs.

Another groan from the wizard.

Nate speaks up quickly. “Can I sing him a song to give him another roll?”

“It’s a natural one, so it won’t help. And he can’t hear you,” Satch explains, then smiles at him good-naturedly before turning back to the three who are about to get fucked over. “Your party watches as a shadow crosses their paths again, before heading straight for the wizard and disappearing.”

“Fuck,” Matthew groans, laying his head on the table.

“Cold courses through you as this shadow disappears, making you shiver. A minute passes before everything goes quiet, and you hear a voice in your head. ‘Kill,’ it whispers, in a raspy voice,” Satch narrates. “And against your will, you cast Magic Missile, aiming for your fellow party members.”

“Jared, 2 points of damage. Jon, 4,” Satch supplies, before turning to the half of the party that didn’t just get fucked up. “You two have no idea this is going on, until you get to another fork in the path. To the right, you hear faint sounds of fire hitting bodies. To the left is more darkness.”

“We run around to the battle,” Shane says, right as Nate looks like he’s going to say the same thing.

“When you run up, you find the rest of your party, slowly backing up from your wizard. They all look panicked, but there’s something else behind Matthew’s eyes that betray the look on his face.”

“I run forward,” Nate says, “towards Matthew.”

“Because of course you do,” Jared says, “I reach out and hold him back.”

“What are you doing? Let go of me!” Nate says, as Jared actually wraps his arms around Nate. Y’know, for realism.

“He literally just shot  _ fire _ at us!” Jared informs him.

Nate frowns. “Can I see the thing that’s up with his eyes?”

“Roll Perception.”

“Seventeen.”

Satch looks like he’s thinking for a moment. “I’d say, given how close you two are, you can tell that something’s definitely off with him.”

“This isn’t right,” Nate declares, breaking out of Jared’s hold. He reaches over and moves his character in front of the rest of the party, closer to Matthew. 

Close enough that he can reach out and touch his face, which he does, even though they’re sitting right next to each other. Listen, writing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign for a stupid fanfic about stupid superheroes is hard when you’re trying not to make the different dimensions awkward.

“Matthew, make another will save.”

The wizard grimaces. “Three?”

There’s a chorus of gasps, but then Satch gives him the smile again and Matthew knows he’s straight fucked.

“As Paultin steps forward and places his hand on your face, the entity in your mind forces your hand to move to your belt, where you’ve stashed one of your daggers.”

“Oh no,” Matthew says, guilt making his face flush and a frown grace his lips, squeezing Nate’s hand under the table again. “I’m so sorry.”

“Your hand moves quickly, plunging the knife through Paultin’s armor and into his stomach before he has a chance to react, causing 5 damage. Make another will save.”

It seems like the room doesn’t breathe in the seconds it takes Matpat to snatch up his d20 and roll. He lets out a sigh, a relieved smile on his face. “Natural twenty.”

“The shadow is expelled from you, and as it does, you feel your motor control returned to you. The raspy voice you heard goes away completely, and the shadow floats in the air for a second before turning to Paultin. Make a will save, Nate.”

“Natural twenty.”

“The shadow tries to control you, too, but can’t get into your mind,” Satch says, looking rather impressed.

“I’d like to kill this fuck before it can control anyone else,” Jared pipes up, “by slicing through it with my short sword.”

“Alright, sure,” Satch says.

“Nineteen to hit, seven damage.”

“Well, you don’t kill it, but you do significant damage, and it dissipates. The party can either choose to run away, or wait it out. Though I should remind everyone, Paultin  _ was _ stabbed by his boyfriend, so.”

Everyone looks through their character sheets for anything that could help. Shane speaks up: “I have a lesser healing potion?”

“That’ll work,” Nate agrees.

(They do run away after Paultin rolls the healing potion, though.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it guys, this is my magnum opus. this fic doesnt get any better after this chapter
> 
> this also definitely hasnt happened at all in the d&d campaign im in. absolutely not. (rip lennon, she shot her teammate in the hecking arm)
> 
> (nate (wantstobattle) and matthew/matt/matpat are a reference to mylifedependsoncandy's dumb gay meta au!!: http://archiveofourown.org/series/528460 )  
> (this chapter also definitely didn't get me into natewantstobattle, not at all.)


	18. battle in seattle, in which seattle is actually seattle for realsies this time

Surprising no one, having something else in control of your body is _not fun_.

Especially when the first thing Craig does when he kicks Ian out of control is leave the void.

And _of course_ he comes back into reality while the news is there recording a fight between Instinct and Yungtown.

Usually he could escape notice, but since it’s Craig that’s in control, he creates as much chaos as possible.

Craig completely interrupts the fight that was going on, like a selfish asshole, and immediately turns it against him.

“I am definitely not prepared for this,” Ian hears Instinct say at some point between dodging chunks of buildings and loose cars, before he loses sight of him and Yungtown comes back in full force.

Fighting sound with the void is harder than it looks, until Craig manages to bean Yungtown with a stray brick.

* * *

Meanwhile, across the city, Caddy is watching the news during his lunch break at the Starbucks he first met Ian in.

Ever since he left the super scene, Yungtown and Instinct have risen to become the city’s new favorite supers. It’s a saving grace, mostly. Even if the wayward relationship advice still hasn’t stopped being a thing.

When Ian shows up looking fired up and pissed the hell off, Caddy nearly drops his sandwich, swallowing thickly.

When Instinct runs off, Caddy hastily wraps up his sandwich and tosses it into the trash, throwing off his green apron.

And when Yungtown gets a brick to the face, his manager nods when he looks at her, and he runs out of the store.

It’s a short walk to the fight, and it’s even faster because Caddy is, quite literally, booking it.

There’s something inexplicably _wrong_ with the whole situation, and Caddy isn’t quite sure what to do, or what he _can_ do.

* * *

Craig is laughing when the other super shows up. He tilts Ian’s head curiously, almost as if he’s unsure who he is.

“Ian?” Caddy asks, and his eyebrows are furrowed, clearly worried. “What’s happened to you?”

“Who the hell is Ian?” Craig asks him, and it’s especially jarring since it’s Ian’s voice that says it.

 _“Rude,”_ Craig hears Ian tell him in their mind.

Caddy reaches out to cradle Ian’s face in his hands, the worry etched on his face growing worse.

Ian’s eyes narrow at the other super, and he pulls away from Caddy. “Don’t _touch_ me.”

The other super pulls away like he’s been burned, and it’s then that Instinct comes back.

* * *

Jimmy watches his friends interact for a second, but then he notices Yungtown passed out on the ground, his head bleeding.

With a wince, he steps towards his hero, completely ready to wake him up and stop the bleeding, but then Ian is right in front of him, and he’s almost too slow to react when there’s a fist flying for his face.

He dodges, barely, completely unprepared to fight one of his best friends. Even if said best friend is currently trying to kill him, probably.

He wants to ask him what the fuck is going on, but knows that doing so would only blow his cover - his voice isn’t that anonymous, especially to the people currently at the scene.

Ian swings at him again and it’s all Jimmy can do to throw up a shield, a move he always has on hand when fighting anyone.

It’s then that Jimmy realises that this is the first time he’s actually faced off against Ian in this kind of setting, with the news cameras filming them and reporters no doubt giving a play-by-play of what’s going on.

He’s only seen Ian’s powers on TV, and he knows that that wasn’t anything near the full extent of what he can do.

* * *

Caddy watches on as the man he loved - loves, still - walks away from him like he’s nothing. Even if he knows that Ian’s not the one in control, it still hurts like an open wound.

He stands helpless as he attacks Instinct, not knowing what to do yet again. After he got back from the void, he swore not to touch his guns, and even if he hadn’t, he doesn’t even have them with him.

“Ian!” He yells, before it even registers what he’s doing.

But when it does, Caddy knows that it’s the right thing to do. Even if it is extremely dangerous.

* * *

Craig turns as he hears Caddy yell out Ian’s name, distracted. Instinct uses the chance to finally land a hit, and he recoils, stumbling back towards Caddy.

* * *

In the back of his mind, Ian worries about Caddy, wondering what the fuck he’s doing, even though he knows exactly what he’s about to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry crisis everyone, here's some angst


	19. the beginning of the end

Caddy catches Ian as he stumbles, using his momentum to spin him around.

“I love you,” he says, before leaning in and kissing him.

Ian recoils after he gets his bearings, and immediately he’s stepping far the fuck away from Caddy. “I  _ told you _ not to touch me.”

And, before Caddy can come up with something to say in return, Ian’s summoned something from the void to throw at him. 

Caddy has no idea what it is before it hits him.

* * *

“ _ Craig, what the fuck!! _ ” Ian says, to Craig. “ _ That’s my fiancee! _ ”

And for the first time in an hour, there’s a push back, fueled by Ian’s rage at Caddy getting hurt. 

And then, Ian has control back. Craig is gone from his mind. He wants to go over to Caddy and apologize, but for some reason he’s really tired suddenly. He takes a few steps and then sits down in the middle of the street. Totally on purpose, definitely and for sure.

Caddy is incredibly relieved to see the strange whatever-it-was vanish from Ian’s eyes and leave him as himself again. That feeling of relief diminishes considerably when he watches him collapse a few seconds later, an ominous black cloud taking shape above and around him. Fuck that. Caddy runs into the cloud, grabs Ian and helps him over to an out-of-the-way spot where he can sit down against a building, near Instinct and Yungtown.

“Ian, what the fuck was that? What the fuck  _ is _ that?  _ What is going on? _ ”

Ian is still trying to figure that last one out himself. “That’s Craig, he lives in the void, I guess? He was possessing me, that’s the only reason I tried to hurt you-- I mean, any of you, but mostly  _ you _ you. I kicked him out of my head but I guess he’s not gone. That’s weird, he should have gone back to the void...” He notices a thread of black smoke leading from himself to the cloud and his eyes widen with realization. “He’s draining me to keep himself here. He-- he’s  _ killing _ me, James.” Ian clutches Caddy’s hand with frightening intensity and an equally frightening lack of strength. “I don’t want to die.”

Caddy leans in and kisses him. “You won’t die, Moose. I won’t permit it.”

* * *

Luke groans across the way, and Instinct is by his side in a heartbeat.

“Hey, hey, Luke, are you okay?” Instinct asks, eyes wide beneath the mask.

The DJ’s arms come up to clutch at his head, still laying down. “I feel like I got hit with a brick.”

“You did!” Yells Caddy, from the building next to them.

“Ouch,” he says, as he sits up. And then it dawns on him. “Wait, how do you know my name?”

“Shut up, I didn’t say anything,” Instinct says, before carefully reaching out to touch the wound on his head. “I tried to help your head out earlier, but Brutalmoose stopped me. Sorry.”

“Wait, who are _ you _ ?” Luke questions, narrowing his eyes as if that’ll help him see better.

(It won’t.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to end this chapter with an even 20 chapters but then vav was i like "no suspense" so you can blame her for that heartbreaking ian/caddy thing and the fact that this fic is going to be 21 chapters long including the epilogue
> 
> (#sub2yungtown)


	20. blame it on the voices that told you to do it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I love you,” he says, before leaning in and kissing him._  
>  _“Ian, what the fuck was that? What the fuck is that? What is going on?” “He’s draining me to keep himself here. He-- he’s killing me, James.”_  
>  _“Hey, hey, Luke, are you okay?” "I feel like I got hit with a brick." "You did!"_  
>  it's _the superhero au!_

Okay, this has been a nice little moment, but Caddy thinks it’s time to end this before things get any worse and/or weirder. Easier said than done, of course. At least when it was Ian they were fighting it was _possible_ to hit him. Whatever this “Craig” thing is made out of, it’s not very punchable, and not for lack of trying.

* * *

Instinct thinks it’s the concussion when his hero looks past him and says something about Caddy trying to beat up a cloud. Either that or he’s just fucking with him. When he finally turns around to humor the guy who was recently knocked out, it turns out neither of those options are true. Because why would anything be simple where his friends are involved? That sure is a cloud, or at least something that sort of looks like one if you squint, and Caddy sure is swinging at it ineffectively and shouting at it to fuck off. Okay.

“You stay here.” He doesn’t wait for Yungtown’s response before running off to find out what crazy development they’ve missed in the last three minutes.

* * *

Meanwhile, punching an incorporeal being is going even _worse_ than one would expect. Craig _was_ just invulnerable, but now he’s invulnerable and also _pissed off._ He draws himself up to his full height, except not, because that would be floating off into the sky. Unfortunately, Caddy’s pretty pissed off as well, and he doesn’t back down despite realizing he can’t really _do_ anything. He can still glare, so it turns into a sort of standoff, not exactly a staring contest because Craig doesn’t have any eyes, but the sentiment appears to be there.

After a few seconds- predictably, at this point- even that goes south. Turns out it’s not just Caddy’s stubbornness preventing him from looking away. He actually can’t move, and the longer he’s unwillingly focused on the shifting patterns in the cloud in front of him, the stronger the effect is.

* * *

Instinct can tell something is off. He runs forward to try and help, but an “arm” forms out of the cloud and flings him back a good fifteen feet. He hits the ground hard, rolls to minimize the shock and ends up pretty much back where he started, not far from his hero. He’s standing up now, so that’s good, at least. Speaking of which, he probably needs to be filled in on the current situation, i.e. the specific way in which currently they are likely to get killed.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Yungtown asks with a look of concern, providing a convenient lead-in to the conversation.

“I’m fine,” Instinct replies quickly, “but we’re about to have a lot of problems. Like, even more problems than we already have, which is a lot.” He laughs, presumably in self-awareness of how totally fucked he is. “Yeah, so, you know that huge, terrifying black cloud that was like... possessing Ian earlier? I mean, Brutalmoose. I mean, fuck it, we all know he’s Ian. Well, it’s actually not defeated and it’s about to take over Caddy now, like, currently at this moment that is happening. So. Yeah. We need to knock him out if we don’t want to die.”

Yungtown blinks a couple times, processing that unexpectedly long paragraph and the information contained within. He nods slowly, still frowning uncertainly. Instinct takes this as agreement and prepares to have another go at the Caddy-and-Craig situation, preferably with a bit more subtlety than just fucking running at them this time, but before he can do anything he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait.” Yungtown is watching Caddy intently. “Let’s see what happens first.”

Instinct will not be so easily un-panicked. “Luke, buddy, I see where you’re coming from but _I don’t want to die.”_

“I think we should have some faith in him,” Yungtown insists. “If anyone is stubborn enough to out-will a void demon thing, it’s Caddy. Anyway, he doesn’t even have anything on him to kill us _with,_ so it won’t be _that_ big a problem if I’m wrong.”

Instinct shifts restlessly, still not sure, but the hero’s confidence is starting to win him over despite himself. “Alright,” he concedes, making a mental note of whose fault it will be if this goes pear-shaped. Just to be safe, he materializes a transparent curved shield in front of the two of them, letting them watch what’s going on while still having some protection from its consequences.

* * *

Meanwhile, Caddy is fighting for control of his own damn body. That sounds like a bad thing, and to be fair it kind of is, until you realize it means he hasn’t lost yet. Not that he knows it, but he’s at least doing better than Ian did.

It’s not exactly a _bad_ feeling, being possessed. Panic-inducing, sure, but mostly because he knows he’s _being possessed._ Mostly, it just feels… weird. Fuzzy, numb, a cold presence in his mind. Craig is speaking to him mentally now, barely distinguishable from his own thoughts. _Let me in,_ he says, honestly annoyed he’s having to ask at all. _It will happen eventually, no matter what you do. Besides, with me you could be so much_ **_better._ ** _Do you not want to be strong enough to be an effective hero? That was a rhetorical question. I can see your thoughts… and your memories. Every time you failed…_ Craig lets that hang in the air for a while, noting with satisfaction that Caddy is now remembering all his past failures as well. There’s always a way in somewhere. Now all he needs to do is wait for the hero’s insecurities to overpower his stubbornness.

For over a minute Caddy is still and silent. Everyone present has almost stopped breathing in suspense, although in Ian’s case it’s not so much that as the fact he’s sort of dying. Point being, it’s _real tense,_ my guy. Finally, Caddy shudders forcefully and closes his eyes. Then he looks up.

“I suppose I had better make sure this isn’t one of those times,” he says. “By which I mean fuck you.”

The hypnotic connection broken, Craig is forced out of his mind. If he had legs, he would step back in shock. He recovers quickly and lashes out to slam Caddy into the building behind him, but he dives out of the way. Instinct reaches him just in time to block a second blow with his shield. Yungtown gives Caddy a hand up, but there’s no path of retreat that isn’t blocked by either a building or clouds, and trying to go through Craig might not be the _best_ idea.

Instinct thinks fast, by which I mean he panics, and expands his shield over the three of them. It molds itself to the ground and the wall behind them, creating a protective half-dome in which they are now trapped. Listen, not all last-second ideas are _good_ ones, okay? It’s pretty cramped, but least now they can regroup and not worry about being attacked.

“What just happened?” he asks, slightly out of breath. “What did you do?”

Caddy holds his hands up in the universal gesture of _don’t look at me, I’m as confused as you are._ “I have no idea how I did that,” he admits.

“I knew you could do it!” cheers Yungtown, going for a high-five.

Instinct turns to look at him. “What, did _you_ know what was going on that whole time?”

“No? What do I look like, some kinda… possession expert?”

“I don’t know why I ever listen to you.”

“Guys, please,” Caddy interrupts before they can really get into it. “Now is not the time for flirting. _Don’t_ try to tell me you aren’t, I know what it looks like. Can we _please_ focus on the issue of taking this thing down _before Ian fucking dies?”_

They look at each other guiltily. “Sorry.”

He nods. “So. Does anyone have anything at all resembling a plan? No? A concept? Nothing?” He’s talking too fast to give them a chance to respond, so it’s a good thing they’ve got jack shit. “Okay, let’s start with what we have, then. What _exactly_ can you guys actually _do?”_ He really ought to already know this, but he hasn’t exactly been on top of things lately.

“You _know_ what I do, man,” Yungtown reminds him, looking hurt. “You teamed up with me that one time.”

Right, he remembers now. Sound manipulation- there may not be a lot to work with here in terms of making noise, but he can make a decent weapon out of just his own voice.

“I’ve _definitely_ never worked with you, though,” he says, turning to Instinct. The supervillain laughs awkwardly at the reminder that under most circumstances both of the people he’s in this bubble with would be fighting him.

“Okay, uh,” _oh god why does he keep laughing he needs to stop this is a serious situation_ “I’m… it’s kind of complicated? I have, like…” _this is the worst explanation ever and he wants to die_ “Okay, so, every morning, I get up, and it’s like, I can choose what powers I’m gonna have that day? But I only get a few, and they’re not _that_ great, and to change them right now I’d have to sit here and fuckin’ meditate for half an hour, so--”

Yungtown nudges him. “I think he wants to know what you can do _right now.”_

“Oh.” Obviously. “Well, there’s the shield, you know about that one. I have something to counter _this_ guy,” gesturing to his hero, “not that that’s going to do us any good. Unless you get possessed, I guess. Please don’t though.”

“Okay, I won’t.”

“Great. So then I have a general agility boost, which isn’t mega exciting because it just cancels out my natural lack of athletic ability, and this light thing. It’s basically a superpower flashlight.”

He holds out a hand and activates the light to demonstrate. It is, as advertised, about as bright as a flashlight. Which means that looking at it is about as _painful_ as looking into a flashlight, and he probably should have warned the other two first. He’s never affected by that, conveniently, so he forgets other people are. Caddy swears and hits him on the arm. Which, fair.

Then he looks up from the light and realizes Craig is recoiling from their little bubble, as if the light hurts him. Instinct looks from the light in his hand to the slightly parted clouds and shrugs.

“Does this count as a plan? Running is a plan, I’m calling it a plan now. Three two one _go!”_

In one motion, he pulls the shield down and runs, the light cutting a path for the heroes to follow. They make it out of the clouds and stop a ways down the street. Craig isn’t exactly the fastest in this form, so they’ve got some breathing room now and time to come up with a plan that _isn’t_ just running.

Caddy states the obvious. “Looks like he doesn’t like the light.” Now that he thinks about it, the extra layer of clouds covering the entire street and scraping the tops of buildings makes more sense.

“Alright,” Yungtown says. “I have an idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blame the lateness on vav. you can blame a little bit on me because it took my internet going out to get me to edit everything a little, but mostly vav.  
> also, only two more chapters until we're done here!! thank gods.


	21. something something the real end

“That’s the most hacked-together plan I’ve ever heard,” Caddy says, still trying to visualize the explanation he just listened to. He sighs. “It’s a million-to-one chance, but it’s the best idea we have.” Maybe a  _ bit _ of an exaggeration, but he’s had a day, alright?

“Don’t worry,” Instinct tells him, knowing his hero’s ability to pull off absurd-sounding ideas. “Million-to-one chances work nine times out of ten.”

Yungtown puts a hand on each of their shoulders, serious. “Does everyone know what they’re doing?” They nod. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Explaining the plan didn’t take nearly as long as skipping over the explanation and cutting to their reactions made it seem- not more than a few seconds. Craig is still a fair distance down the street. Good- they have room to work.

They start running, staying behind the shield as much as possible. Either Craig knows something is up or the  _ actual _ weather is feeling especially dramatic, because the wind picks up, whipping around stray leaves and bits of trash. No, that’s definitely Craig, he’s throwing things at them.

When they’re getting close, everyone splits off in a different direction. Craig may  _ technically _ be able to fight in every direction at once, but he can only really pay attention to one thing at a time. Right now, Yungtown is doing his best to be that thing. While he darts around being as distracting as possible and confusing the hell out of Craig, Instinct tosses his shield to Caddy and makes for the tallest nearby fire escape, trying not to draw attention to himself.

* * *

 

Caddy, meanwhile, now has a shield and no real idea what to do with it in the space of time before he’s needed. He can’t have Craig focused on him when it’s time for his bit, not to mention he still has nothing to actually fight with. He goes with a strategy of running around  _ looking _ as busy as possible despite not actually contributing anything of value. It’s been known to work in other areas of life, though its application in a fight is dubious at best.

* * *

 

Everything is fine until Instinct is three-quarters of the way up the fire escape, this being in a narrative sense the best time for something to go wrong. A convenient- that is, an  _ in _ convenient uneven step trips him rather loudly into the railing. His first reaction is to overcompensate by freezing in place, but given Craig is already looking right at him (as far as he can tell given that Craig is a faceless void monster), it’s not very effective. He recovers himself a second later and bolts up the stairs. Not good, but better than just standing there waiting for death. There’s at least a  _ chance _ he can make it the rest of the way if he runs for it, right?

No such luck. Even if he weren’t a dozen stories up on a fire escape with nowhere to run, he’d be hard-pressed to dodge wind. Hit with an unnaturally strong gust courtesy of Craig and caught off-balance, he loses his footing once more- only this time, the railing doesn’t do its job. He goes over, and only just manages to grab onto it with one hand in time to avoid plummeting to his death.

“Well, fuck.” Super-reflexes may have saved him, but he’d still rather have, like,  _ flight _ or something. Kinda bullshit how that isn’t even one of his options. Still, not being dead is pretty nice. He prepares to pull himself up, or at least swing onto the level below.

* * *

 

Caddy doesn’t see Instinct stumble, but he  _ does _ notice when Craig’s focus shifts away from the two of them on the ground. He looks up in time to watch Instinct fall. He starts toward the stairs, but it’s not as if he could get there in time anyway. He sees Instinct catch himself. Then he sees a tendril of smoke take shape behind him, forming up to knock him off the building for  _ real _ this time.

His first (stupid) impulse is to throw the shield at it Captain America-style. Ian is pretty much 85% of his impulse control, and also incapacitated, so now he has to run over and get it back from where it fell after bouncing off a building at a maximum height of about ten feet. He looks up again and the smoke-arm is almost solid. Instinct’s noticed it now, but it’s too late to get to safety. All he can do, or at least all he can think of to do in the two seconds of panic he has left, is try for a better grip on the railing and shut his eyes. Craig reaches for him.

**_“No!”_ **

* * *

 

Under normal circumstances that scream would be the last thing Instinct heard before hitting the ground a dozen stories below, but this isn’t normal circumstances, it’s Yungtown. Under  _ these _ circumstances, it’s enough to disperse the “arm” and give Instinct time to scramble back onto the fire escape.

**_“Stay away from him,”_ ** the hero shouts again. It might be  kinda cheesy, but whatever, it still disrupts Craig’s form. He turns, severely pissed off, like when you get a boss’s health down in a video game and it gets stronger for some fucking reason. Yungtown is forced to give up the offensive and go back to frantically dodging and trying not to get a  _ second _ concussion. He really shouldn’t be doing any of this running around right now in the first place, but he has completely unrelated superpowers, so it’s probably fine.

Meanwhile, Instinct finally makes it to the top of the building, severely out of breath from taking quite a few flights of stairs at a flat-out sprint. Up here, the unnatural cloud cover starts no more than half a foot above his head. Perfect.

He looks down to make sure Craig’s attention is elsewhere. Then he summons his light and, stepping up onto the low wall that surrounds the roof, thrusts it into the clouds. Thanks to the hole he’s created, a ray of sunlight breaks through just in front of the building.

* * *

 

Back on the ground, Caddy is already running. Climbing is a little harder while carrying a shield bigger than yourself, but he still gets in position in a matter of seconds. The whole “superhero to whom gravity does not entirely apply” thing definitely helps. Anchoring himself on a windowsill with one hand, he holds the shield out into the beam of light Instinct created and aims.

Like a kid with a magnifying glass frying bugs on the sidewalk, the transparent shield lets him focus all that light directly at the extremely light-averse void being. Craig screams, or at least makes a horrifying, inhuman scream-adjacent noise, and then… he’s just gone.

Yungtown and Instinct run up to each other for a celebratory “nobody died” hug, cheering. A second later they both think to fuss over each other’s respective injuries and near-death experiences. Caddy has already disappeared, and it doesn’t exactly take the world’s greatest kid detective to figure out where he’s going. It would probably be nice of them to wait a few minutes before catching up. And try to fend off all the reporters crowding around to find out what the entire fuck just happened here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im uploading this from mobile cause i forgot to upload it on monday, so there might be weird spacing issues until i can look at it better on a computer!
> 
> catch these hands on my tumblr, @oswiniarty


	22. we deserve a soft epilogue

“The void fucking sucks,” Ian says to the Press, and Caddy rolls his eyes next to him. It’s all he says to them, before grabbing Caddy’s hand and walking over to Yungtown and Instinct.

* * *

“Hey man, I’m sorry again about hitting you with a brick,” Ian apologises to Yungtown.

Yungtown waves him away. “It’s fine, man. It’s only a flesh wound.”

Instinct smiles at them, pointing at Ian and Caddy. “Not to be rude, but it seems like there’s some unspoken stuff between you two. Go home, we’ll handle it from here.”

* * *

“I love you,” Ian tells him. “Just in case you’d forgotten.”

Caddy rolls his eyes. “You’re a dork.”

“Yeah, but I’m  _ your _ dork,” he says in return, leaning down to kiss him. 

Caddy buries his hands in Ian’s hair, kissing him back for a good minute before pulling away. “You’re starting to need a haircut.”

Ian smirks at him, running a hand through his own hair. “I dunno, I kinda like it.”

“I can’t believe you were stuck in the void for two years with no one to talk to except the smoke monster from  _ Lost _ , and you won’t cut your own hair,” Caddy complains, but it’s mostly teasing.

Ian raises an eyebrow at him. “I can cut it if you  _ want _ me to, but I think we both know that you have a thing for my hair.”

Caddy makes an indignant noise. “Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we did it lads. we're done!! it's been a wild ride!! thanks for sticking with it and i hope you enjoyed my ridiculousness. <3

**Author's Note:**

> i am. so sorry.
> 
> pls let me know if i'm writing someone wrong or if there are mistakes, or if you want a little more info abt the au message me on tumblr @ oswiniarty
> 
> edit 5/9/17: the spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/abby.greenburg/playlist/5pbgkDdiccqPUCVQfXDPNZ (casually still doesn't know how to link things lmao)


End file.
